I was at Harvey’s today with Kate while we were eating, an old man (about 45 years my senior) sat at the table next to us. He had a a smile on his face that made you believe he was recalling a better time. He placed his tray down and with exact precision removed every item but his burger from the tray. Each item went was placed on the table with care and in such a way as to indicate that this man had done this many times before. He then very methodically unwrapped his burger and folded the wrapper in such a way as to create a mat (or cutting board) for his burger. Produced a knife wich looked like it could have been used as a bayonet in WWII and cut his burger in to four strips.
I couldn’t stop watching him, I think it was the expression on his face that drew me in. At first glance he looked happy as if he didn’t have a care in the world. But when looking more closely it seemed like he was quite sad as if the smile on his face was a result of a good memory or a better time in his life.
A great sadness descended on me at the time and for a split second I pictured myself in his shoes. I was all of a sudden acutely aware of how lonely I’ve been feeling these past few days. How tonight, I will once again be at home alone, only my thoughts and work to keep me company. I know it will get better, I’ve been through this before, but this time it’s different. I don’t hate her! I still love her!